How To Tell Uf He's Manipulating You With Money
He's a sweet, caring guy, so why do some of his deportment constantly set up off serious red flags? Perchance he'southward not such a good guy after all. Hither are some signs this guy is manipulating y'all that y'all demand to be aware of so that y'all're non taken for a fool.
He's a piddling besides charming.At that place'due south charm and and then there'southward a guy who'due south dripping in it to the point that it almost seems fake. He knows that he needs to flatter you to get what he wants, so he'll make you experience like the nigh beautiful, amazing woman live, to hook yous — and utilise you.
He'southward the ultimate people pleaser.Beware of the guy who tries also hard to make others happy, even if people are in awe about how "nice" he is. He has such a strong need to delight that he pushes his real feelings aside, then what yous're getting is a guy who's not the guy you remember he is. Anyone who tries that hard to exist what you want has a hidden agenda.
He always has a sob story upward his sleeve. This is i of the biggest signs a guy is manipulating you. He's quick to play the victim carte when things go incorrect or you confront him near something. It's ever someone else who's to blame or who hurt him. He wants your sympathy when in actual fact he'south the one responsible for most of the crap in his life.
He gets upset when yous tin't do things for him. He calls you and asks if you can see up with him for coffee, but you tin can't considering yous have a work meeting. Instead of beingness agreement, he sounds upset or pissed off. You lot might feel flattered, especially when he says how much he wanted to see you, but don't exist. It's a sign that he's the blazon of guy who throws his toys out the cot when he doesn't become what he wants.
He jokes nearly things that are hurtful to you.He might criticize your appearance or career and then rapidly say that he's joking when he sees yous get upset. You might laugh along, thinking that he's such a funny guy with everyone that he means no damage, just he does. He could be using his "jokes" to keep you on your toes or to try to hint that he wants you to change whatever it is that he'south joking about.
He has your best interests at heart, right?He might come across every bit caring about yous and your life, like when he says that you'd do then wonderfully if yous took a business course. It makes yous wonder if he'southward right and yous should consider it. But in time you starting time to run into that he'due south really just bully on having a girlfriend who earns more money or is in a career he approves of. Information technology's not near you but his own happiness he's afterwards.
More signs a guy is manipulating yous
He wants to protect you lot.It might non seem like it, but this is another 1 of those major signs a guy is manipulating you. Certain, he pretends to want to help y'all sort out your bad debt or follow you to your destination at night because it's not prophylactic, only it just feels shady considering he ends up controlling the finances or stalking yous "for your own good." It'due south seriously messed upwards. He's controlling you, not caring about you.
He places his issues onto y'all.He tells yous that his ex cheated on him so he has trust issues. This might make y'all feel bad for him, but he could be using it as a manipulation tactic. For instance, he might and so say that y'all shouldn't hang out with any other guys because he has trust issues. He's really making his issues yours and making you feel guilty.
He says something, and then denies it subsequently.He'due south a good guy so you might express mirth when he says he has such a bad retentivity, merely if it happens often that he conveniently doesn't recall something he says, he's manipulating you. He wants to keep you on your toes or twist things you've said to make you seem similar the crazy i.
He downplays your problems. Y'all had a nightmare of a day, just he's quick to turn the spotlight onto how much more than horrific his day was. He might say he does this to give you perspective on your bug, but really he just wants all the attention and he's showing that he doesn't care about your feelings one bit.
He only takes half the blame.Yous confront him for something, like how he didn't respond to your texts for the whole weekend, and he'll seem like a proficient guy by apologizing… but then he'll add together why he's non completely to blame for it. He'll take some story most how his friend needed him or he had been called into work for an emergency, leaving you feeling like he's not really sad at all.
He silently judges yous.A manipulator who pretends to be a practiced guy will not vocalize what he really thinks of your lifestyle choices, new hairstyle or all-time friend, only his body language or tone of vocalization will brand y'all recall something totally unlike. Information technology'southward a clever fashion for him to play the passive-aggressive card, to make you doubt your choices, to be a jerk without you having enough show to prove it.
He knows how to play on your feelings.You lot were dating when he started to pull back from you, so y'all did the same affair. Then he threw on the charm, courted y'all and fabricated you experience he was still interested in you. He might even ask why you lot were the one to go away. WTF? He knows how to try to be the perfect guy when he feels you slipping away, simply his intentions are not genuine. He just wants y'all to be there when he needs you. Of form, if y'all confront him on this, he'll requite yous puppy-dog eyes and say he fabricated a fault. Lies, lies, lies!
What to practice when you think a guy is manipulating you
Put some healthy boundaries in place. While it'due south in no way your mistake that this guy is manipulating you, information technology tin can never injure to found (or reestablish) healthy boundaries in order to protect yourself. What those boundaries await similar depends on your personal state of affairs, but it could be something similar not answering his texts right away when you lot're out correct friends or spending time with your family. Maybe information technology means maxim no to plans he's suggested because it'southward non something you desire to practice and he knows information technology.
Stop internalizing his behavior. You're non responsible for his beliefs in whatever style. He is not your kid, you are not his guardian, and he's a grown man who'southward fully capable of making his ain decisions and knowing wrong from correct. Don't internalize the things he does and says or error them as a reflection of who you are and your self-worth. They're not and you're better than that.
Don't react correct away. One of the best ways to put a manipulator in his place (or at to the lowest degree delay his tactics for a while) is by non reacting to his manipulation right away. For instance, if he's been trying to convince yous to sign a lease for a new apartment (that he no dubiousness plans to live in rent-free), don't practise it right abroad. Accept your time to consider your options and to recall difficult almost what you lot're getting yourself into.
Don't be afraid to seek professional help. As California-based therapist Sharie Stines told TIME, mental wellness professionals can help you break some of the toxic cycles you may have gotten into with your manipulative partner. "People in toxic relationships need to hear counterpoints somewhere. They are conditioned to call up the interactions are normal. Someone needs to help them suspension out of that assumption," she explained.
Do what yous can to get out of the situation ASAP. Chances are, a manipulator isn't suddenly going to realize the error of his ways and pull a 180 to become the perfect beau. He's going to proceed his toxic behavior patterns with anyone who will let him go abroad with information technology. Don't be one of those people. As soon as information technology'southward rubber for you to do so, leave the relationship and cutting off contact with him. Hopefully, he'll get the hint, but get the police involved if the situation becomes dangerous.
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Source: https://www.bolde.com/13-signs-good-guy-actually-manipulating/
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